Criminals as individuals must be stopped. Violence must be prevented. But how can this be done? The one thing that always seems true, in any part of the world, is that violence and injustice lead to hatred and revenge and more violence. With hateful act after cruel act, the call for revenge goes up. But who to hateÑwho to hate? If you stop to think, it can get so complex, beyond the man with the bomb in his hand. The killing in New York and Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania has been so evil. Do we want revenge on the countries that these evil men came from? I hear that most of the men who took the planes were from Saudi Arabia. But I also hear that they hate the Saudi government, the ally of my country. So it must be them, but not their country of origin. If someone must pay, how far can the guilt and blame be spread?
When George W. Bush talks of making war on countries and their people due to the actions of their governments, such as harboring terrorists, I think of the citizens of those countries. I wonder how much influence they have over the actions of their government. I'm told that as a citizen of the U.S.A., I have as much or more democratic control over my government than I would in any country in the world. I vote in every election; I support my candidates. Here's $25 and yes, I would like a lawn sign. Sure, I'll come to the Nader rally, or was it Eugene McCarthy? How much influence on policy have I had in my lifetime? How much do I have over what we will do now? Pardon me while I despair for a moment.
So I will not hate people in groups or people based on the actions of their governments. The actions of individuals will still make me sick to my stomach and I will try to figure out what to do with those feelings. Of course I'm getting plenty of advice from radio and TV. The old e-mail inbox has also been an interesting place. Commercial messengers are going to temporarily stop offering me the world's smallest video camera and 2.9% interest Visa cards, and instead they would like me to pray with sincerity and give money to the Red Cross. Well, when I'm choosing what to give, I've got more blood than money, but thanks for the tip. And I've tried praying and it just doesn't work for me. I'm among the unfortunate who feel stuck in this world without a real god in sight.
What will I do? Well, I am getting direction. Through forwarded e-mail lists, people I've never met have suggested that I would look good in red, white and blue clothing. They think that I should light a candle. They have been kind enough to warn me not to hate all people who are Muslims or Moslems. We really aren't sure who these people are. And we can't imagine how anyone could hate the U.S.A., but we are never going to allow this to happen again. I'm to remain silent and to get busy and do something. I need to come together and be on my guard.
I'm being sent some really bad, sincere poetry and I can just hear the country songwriters trying to rhyme bin Laden with "evil plottin'." And it is so easy to criticize and be offended by the actions of others while I sit here feeling like there is so little I can do that will be of any real significance. I don't think I can change the nature of what humans will do. Maybe I'll go to a rally for peace for the companionship, never for a moment believing that I'll somehow help change the way the majority of people seem to see the world.
Here's my plan: I am going to live as peacefully as possible and be extra nice to everyone I meet, every day. Talk about sounding lameÑif I had an activist group I wouldn't want me to join for fear that I'd dilute the action plan. Is this any time for feeling tired and cynical and fatalistic? Who needs someone with lots of questions and no answers?
Anyway, I'm getting so much advice I thought I should share some of it, in case you too were having trouble with what to think and feel. Or what to wear.
Copyright Mendocino Environmental Center 2001
Permission granted to excerpt or use this article if source is cited